I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
