I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
