At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
