I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
