Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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