so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
