I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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