never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
