addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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