i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she looked like the before picture.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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