I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think we might need a safe word for this...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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