Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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