I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Come on in and take your pants off
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