Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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