I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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