just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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