I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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