the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
