ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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