If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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