Betty ford says i'm here all night
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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