whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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