yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We left an ass print on the piano.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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