my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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