That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
