New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
