I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
