i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
