You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
