capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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