I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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