You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
