In the future we'll all be gay
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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