They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she pinky promised me she was 18
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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