I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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