i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
