ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
