She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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