new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
