Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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