Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
