ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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