She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
