All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
