No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I smell stomach acid.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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