Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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