Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
