how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize