this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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