Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
