Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
