i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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