I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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