ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
