Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
