I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
