Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
