she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
