It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
