My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
