Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am naked and annoyed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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