Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
