So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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