just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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