I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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